The Great Pursuit
by
Antonio Davidson
How does one cope with the loss of oneself? How does one rebound from the fading of a dream? Childhood innocence is a gift that must be held at all costs, for once it is gone, recovering it becomes ones life's journey. It will be pursued to the detriment of everything else, because, more so than love, more so than family, more so than pleasure this innocence must be reclaimed. Obsession in its pursuit leads one to go to great extremes, and if it appears out of reach, to the falling of the individual. Men have called it by many names in the past, its journey invoking great quests by noble warriors, and renowned adventurers. The Holy Grail, the fountain of youth, salvation, rejuvenation. Mankind has spent untold fortunes to regain it. Millions of lives spent, destruction of countless worth. All to once again recapture the innocence of childhood.
What is this innocence? What doth inflame most men to give all to reposes it? It is the dream, the dream of ones life, the dream that children have, that all things are possible, that anything can be done. Children can fly if they wish, walk on water, write Nobel prize winning novels and paint priceless master pieces. In a child's mind the only limits that exist are the mere restraints of their guardians. Only if they were free of such nay sayers, they could cure the worlds ails in one moment of time, then spend the rest of their lives soaring, writing, painting or whatever else only a child's mind can perceive.
Fables of miraculous waters, or magic cups have consumed mens minds, when the quest they truly seek lies mostly in front of them, when they behold their children at play. Free from worry, free from regret, full of the dream. A child's mind is all knowing, all believing, all loving. At what point is this innocence lost? This too has consumed men, philosophers, and scientist alike, all, without realizing they too are in the pursuit to reclaim their youths. Some cough it up to the natural progression of life, and pass this information off to the general public without understanding that this common knowledge is part of the problem, as one adult spreads it to a child, and so on and so forth, the lie will continue, and countless billions join the pursuit to dream again.
Look, and see the sadness on their faces. Pass by the streets, gaze at the unsmiling lips, the dark eyes, the down cast cheeks. See the men and women desiring to believe again, to dream, to do the impossible. You can almost hear their minds saying, “just take me back, back to the days when everything meant something, and I was unawares of mine own self.”
Great men have loathed this condition, poems have been written, speeches given, music played, all reaching out to feel again, to see again, to hear again. To a child a story is real, speaking is seen, music is felt, to one who has lost their innocence, these things are nothing more than mere tools, tools that they hope will once again rebuild that dream. You cannot count the great ones who have made noble efforts to reclaim it, men like Solomon, who wrote Ecclesiastes and concluded that all is vanity, useless, worthless, our attempts to rediscover are pointless, beyond our mortal reach. So men form religions, in hopes that one day, when our spirits leave these empty tombs, what was lost will be found, and we will once again soar in the clouds.
We are envious of children, as we hear them speak of the impossible we are quick to rebuke them, quick to place this burden on them so they too will be as empty as we, this is a tragedy, for it is the tragedy of all mankind, save he be raised by wild animals, and never touch the face of humanity. But this has been written as well, men hoping to regain their youths through the eyes of another, characters they have written about in books, whole worlds they have created, places we wish we could be. Ours is a fantasy, a fantasy to return to the real world, one we know has no limits. So we go about daily, daily hoping that we can one day cope with the loss of our own selves.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Simon
Simon was different, he knew that. He wasn’t like most young men his age, strong, handsome, fast. No, those were not his qualities. Some would venture to say he was slow, handicap, or even retarded. He had heard them all before. In school mainly where he seemed to be the brunt of almost every joke. He couldn’t go through one day where the bullies left him alone. This day was no different.
He ate lunch by himself. A bologna sandwich with a bag full of plain chips. It had not happened yet but he fully anticipated the approach of bullies. He felt it in his stomach.
From the other side of the cafeteria Destin Webber and his brood of yuppies contemplated their next move. It had to be different, not the same old boring wedgy or finger to the ear. Those were pranks from the past, this had to be original.
“ Any ideas?” He asked his followers. They shrugged their shoulders. “ Look,” He continued, “ This has to be big, I’m sick of the same ol crap.” He pointed in Simon's direction“ Look at him, fricken retard, the way he eats grosses me out.” He began mimicking a retarded person and his groupies laughed.
“ I got an idea.” One kid said. He was Vernon Keller, tall kid with short brown hair. “ Lets strip him naked and hide his clothes.”
Destin thought about it, then started laughing. He could picture the whole thing. Retard boy walking around school buck-naked searching for his clothes, everyone cracking up. It’d be the best prank ever. “ Lets do it,” Destin ordered. And that was finale.
Simon finished his lunch, looked over his shoulder, saw Destin’s gang watching him. He felt uncomfortable, wanted to escape somehow. The bell for lunch to end rang, and Simon stood up and walked his trash to the garbage can. Destin walked up behind him. “ What’s up retard? He said. Simon ignored him.
They followed close behind him, he could hear their snickering. Down the hall past the science lab. He grew more nervous. They passed by some teachers and when Destin saw the coast was clear he ordered his troops to attack. The grabbed Simon and pulled him into an empty matiennce closet. Simon began to cry. “ Please,” He pleaded, “Don’t hurt me.” Destin stood in front of him, pretended to be shocked.
“ Simon, I’m surprised at you, that you would actually think we would hurt you. Yeah, that really hurts.”
“ Please.” Simon begged again. Tears strolled down his face.
They tore his shirt off first revealing his pale thin torso. Next they pulled down his shorts, which he put up a small resistance to. Destin smacked him in the mouth. “ Hold still you son of a bitch.”
Simon stood in their midst in only his under ware. He was shaking, trying to cover himself with his arms. Destin motioned for one of his boys to remove the skibbies. The boy shook his head. “ Is anyone gonna do this or not?’ No one volunteered. “ I’ll do it my damn self.” He replied, then yanked them off Simons ass. When they saw his penis they all started laughing, it was bigger than anyone expected, actually bigger than any of theirs. But no one admitted to that fact.
Destin opened the door and peeked out. He wanted to see if any teachers were around. None were present. He grabbed Simon who was shaking all over and pushed him into the hall. Then all the boys exited trying to be discreet. They waited for the next bell to ring.
When it rang the halls were soon filled with students going to their next class. At first no one seemed to notice a naked Simon who stood still, shivering from the cold and the humilitation. Soon laughs began to emerge, fingers were pointed. Some were shocked others were tickled. One girl couldn’t take her eyes off his enormous fully erect penis. Simon began to cry.
When Mrs. Anderson passed by she didn’t see the carnival of kids cicled around Simon, but she heard his wimpers. She pushed her way through the crowd and saw his naked body. “ Oh my God, “ She exclaimed. Then took off her shaw and wrapped it around his body. She was extatic and shoved students out of the way in order to help Simon escape. She marched him down the hall and into the mens bathroom.
Two boys were taking a leak when she entered and nearly pissed on each other trying to shield themsleves from her. She didn’t even notice. She placed Simon into a stall and told him to wait, she’d be back with his clothes. He nodded.
She exited the bathroom with fury. The crowd was dispersing, and she ordered everyone to remain still. “ Who has Simon’s clothes?” She demanded. No one answered.
Simon sat on the toilet waiting for Mrs. Anderson to return. He was crying. The humility and anger was building on the inside of him. He may have been slow, but he still had emotions. He noticed the toilet paper holder, it was empty, as usual. He thought what he could do with it if he tore it off. The sharp metal could act as a knife. He reached down and began to pull on it lightly. It budged a little. He pulled harder and the whole thing ripped off the wall.
Mrs. Anderson still had the students in custody. No one could leave until she had Simon’s clothes, and it didn’t appear that anyone was coming forward. Destin and his boys stood motionless. The clothes were still inside the closet. She pulled a cell phone from her pocket and dialed the schools main office. “ Thank you for calling Orange Park High school. “ A friendly voice answered.
“ Yes this is Mrs. Anderson, science teacher, I need to speak with principle Donner as quickly as possible, it’s an emergency.” She was put on hold and she waited.
“ What is it Mrs. Anderson?” Donner answered.
“ Yeah, can you come to the science building please, I have a serious problem. I need your help.”
She hung up the phone and placed it back in her pocket. “ I want to know who did this, right now. This wasn’t funny.”
Destin sneered, but hid his face from hers. He was closer to the back behind some other students. Then the bathroom doors swung open making a banging sound. Mrs. Anderson swung around and saw Simon come running out like a mad man. He was holding a metal object in his hand.
The students began to run, Destin wondered what all the commotion was, he couldn’t see through the crowd. Simon broke through the lines, pushing Mrs. Anderson to the ground, his big penis flopping back and forth. Destin looked up, seen the metal object raised, and fall head long into his scalp.
He stood there for a second, not realizing a toilet paper holder had been thrusted into his eye socket. Blood poured down his face and onto the floor. He saw Simon standing there, looking at him dead in the face breathing heavy.
Mrs. Anderson screamed as Destin collapsed onto the floor. Simon hovered over him. He took hold of his gigantic peter and emptied his bladder all over Destin’s face.
Soon Simon was tackled by two security guards who wrestled him to the floor. He was cuffed and taken to a patrol car outside the building. As he sat in the car buck naked, he could see Destin’s bleeding face in his head. He smiled a bit when he realized that Destin would never pick on him, ever again.
The end
He ate lunch by himself. A bologna sandwich with a bag full of plain chips. It had not happened yet but he fully anticipated the approach of bullies. He felt it in his stomach.
From the other side of the cafeteria Destin Webber and his brood of yuppies contemplated their next move. It had to be different, not the same old boring wedgy or finger to the ear. Those were pranks from the past, this had to be original.
“ Any ideas?” He asked his followers. They shrugged their shoulders. “ Look,” He continued, “ This has to be big, I’m sick of the same ol crap.” He pointed in Simon's direction“ Look at him, fricken retard, the way he eats grosses me out.” He began mimicking a retarded person and his groupies laughed.
“ I got an idea.” One kid said. He was Vernon Keller, tall kid with short brown hair. “ Lets strip him naked and hide his clothes.”
Destin thought about it, then started laughing. He could picture the whole thing. Retard boy walking around school buck-naked searching for his clothes, everyone cracking up. It’d be the best prank ever. “ Lets do it,” Destin ordered. And that was finale.
Simon finished his lunch, looked over his shoulder, saw Destin’s gang watching him. He felt uncomfortable, wanted to escape somehow. The bell for lunch to end rang, and Simon stood up and walked his trash to the garbage can. Destin walked up behind him. “ What’s up retard? He said. Simon ignored him.
They followed close behind him, he could hear their snickering. Down the hall past the science lab. He grew more nervous. They passed by some teachers and when Destin saw the coast was clear he ordered his troops to attack. The grabbed Simon and pulled him into an empty matiennce closet. Simon began to cry. “ Please,” He pleaded, “Don’t hurt me.” Destin stood in front of him, pretended to be shocked.
“ Simon, I’m surprised at you, that you would actually think we would hurt you. Yeah, that really hurts.”
“ Please.” Simon begged again. Tears strolled down his face.
They tore his shirt off first revealing his pale thin torso. Next they pulled down his shorts, which he put up a small resistance to. Destin smacked him in the mouth. “ Hold still you son of a bitch.”
Simon stood in their midst in only his under ware. He was shaking, trying to cover himself with his arms. Destin motioned for one of his boys to remove the skibbies. The boy shook his head. “ Is anyone gonna do this or not?’ No one volunteered. “ I’ll do it my damn self.” He replied, then yanked them off Simons ass. When they saw his penis they all started laughing, it was bigger than anyone expected, actually bigger than any of theirs. But no one admitted to that fact.
Destin opened the door and peeked out. He wanted to see if any teachers were around. None were present. He grabbed Simon who was shaking all over and pushed him into the hall. Then all the boys exited trying to be discreet. They waited for the next bell to ring.
When it rang the halls were soon filled with students going to their next class. At first no one seemed to notice a naked Simon who stood still, shivering from the cold and the humilitation. Soon laughs began to emerge, fingers were pointed. Some were shocked others were tickled. One girl couldn’t take her eyes off his enormous fully erect penis. Simon began to cry.
When Mrs. Anderson passed by she didn’t see the carnival of kids cicled around Simon, but she heard his wimpers. She pushed her way through the crowd and saw his naked body. “ Oh my God, “ She exclaimed. Then took off her shaw and wrapped it around his body. She was extatic and shoved students out of the way in order to help Simon escape. She marched him down the hall and into the mens bathroom.
Two boys were taking a leak when she entered and nearly pissed on each other trying to shield themsleves from her. She didn’t even notice. She placed Simon into a stall and told him to wait, she’d be back with his clothes. He nodded.
She exited the bathroom with fury. The crowd was dispersing, and she ordered everyone to remain still. “ Who has Simon’s clothes?” She demanded. No one answered.
Simon sat on the toilet waiting for Mrs. Anderson to return. He was crying. The humility and anger was building on the inside of him. He may have been slow, but he still had emotions. He noticed the toilet paper holder, it was empty, as usual. He thought what he could do with it if he tore it off. The sharp metal could act as a knife. He reached down and began to pull on it lightly. It budged a little. He pulled harder and the whole thing ripped off the wall.
Mrs. Anderson still had the students in custody. No one could leave until she had Simon’s clothes, and it didn’t appear that anyone was coming forward. Destin and his boys stood motionless. The clothes were still inside the closet. She pulled a cell phone from her pocket and dialed the schools main office. “ Thank you for calling Orange Park High school. “ A friendly voice answered.
“ Yes this is Mrs. Anderson, science teacher, I need to speak with principle Donner as quickly as possible, it’s an emergency.” She was put on hold and she waited.
“ What is it Mrs. Anderson?” Donner answered.
“ Yeah, can you come to the science building please, I have a serious problem. I need your help.”
She hung up the phone and placed it back in her pocket. “ I want to know who did this, right now. This wasn’t funny.”
Destin sneered, but hid his face from hers. He was closer to the back behind some other students. Then the bathroom doors swung open making a banging sound. Mrs. Anderson swung around and saw Simon come running out like a mad man. He was holding a metal object in his hand.
The students began to run, Destin wondered what all the commotion was, he couldn’t see through the crowd. Simon broke through the lines, pushing Mrs. Anderson to the ground, his big penis flopping back and forth. Destin looked up, seen the metal object raised, and fall head long into his scalp.
He stood there for a second, not realizing a toilet paper holder had been thrusted into his eye socket. Blood poured down his face and onto the floor. He saw Simon standing there, looking at him dead in the face breathing heavy.
Mrs. Anderson screamed as Destin collapsed onto the floor. Simon hovered over him. He took hold of his gigantic peter and emptied his bladder all over Destin’s face.
Soon Simon was tackled by two security guards who wrestled him to the floor. He was cuffed and taken to a patrol car outside the building. As he sat in the car buck naked, he could see Destin’s bleeding face in his head. He smiled a bit when he realized that Destin would never pick on him, ever again.
The end
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